film: commentary

> 2007: THE WORST MOVIES OF 2007!
Film Critic John C. Lyons tells us what was bad last year.

(in no particular order)

Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer – Somehow even worse than the first movie. And cheesier! The hollow-est comic book franchise I’ve ever seen.

Everything's Gone Green – A Garden State wannabe that never went anywhere. A comedy lacking in laughs. I think actor Paulo Costanzo could do well in small doses, not as a lead though.

Daywatch (Dnevnoy Dozor) – These movies have more flash and effects with each new entry. But they make less sense too. I had high hopes but have been let down twice now. One more to go in the trilogy, I may not even rent that one. I wish they would stop trying to top The Matrix movies; they should try and focus on some sort of storyline.

The Number 23 – It’s no surprise Jim Carrey fired his agent over this one. This movie is just plain stupid.

I Know Who Killed Me – Lindsey Lohan took a chance on this one and fell flat on her face. The violence was unexpected and unwelcomed. But the thing that hurt this one the most was that the major plot twists were absolutely ridiculous.

Next – Nic Cage’s wigs should be in a horror movie. So his character can see into the future - why? Oh yeah, because the whole movie hinges on that basic start point. And he can see further into the future when Jessica Biel is around…because? Um, because…wait, did they ever even try to explain that?

Rise – I like Lucy Lui, but she couldn’t save this dull, boring vampire movie. Couldn’t wait for it to finally end, and it was only 90 minutes long.

The Darwin Awards – Really felt like a paycheck movie for everyone involved. Winona Ryder has never been so stiff, and that’s really saying something. Joseph Fiennes isn’t cut out for comedy.

Factory Girl – Sienna Miller and Guy Pearce seem to be doing well here but then you realize there really isn’t much going on other than drugs and drinking in every single scene. Was this character really so lame? I have to blame this loss on the script.

Spiderman 3 – In hindsight I really dislike what they did with this movie even more. Especially after a very solid 2nd film. This is a Kid’s Meal with extra cheese. Sam Raimi - do another Evil Dead movie or better yet, do something completely different for a change. We miss you.

By John C. Lyons
Film Critic

(08-0201)